If you are going to live in Florida, you must make peace with Brer Cockroach. The impossibly large Palmetto Bug can squeeze himself into impossibly small spaces, so there is no keeping him out. He will skitter across your floors and up your walls, he will crawl into your cupboards, he will converge with his friends in the middle of your bathroom floor at night, and when you flick on a light, you will see them all scatter in different directions. Last night as I was brushing my teeth before going to bed, I was thinking that it was very likely that a cockroach had been on my toothbrush. More than once. And recently. This thought didn’t concern me as much as you might think, though. Our home in Ohio had something I think is much worse; it had mice. If I ever thought a mouse had been on my toothbrush, I would burn my entire house down and move out of state.
With these thoughts, I put my head on my pillow and fell asleep and dreamed of cockroaches riding on the heads of pretty little lab rats.