Nicole Smeltzer

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Tag: diary comic

Que Sera Sera? Oh no!

How I want to be: Que sera sera. (Image shows a woman shrugging.)

How I am: Que serAAAAA!!!!! (Image shows a woman screaming and running.)

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April 30, 2021 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: anxiety, autobiocomic, collage, diary comic, humor, illustration, upcycled art, web comic Leave a comment

Technically

The cat meows. Me: "Technically, you still have food in your bowl."

The cat responds, "Technically MEOW MEOW MEOW"

September 11, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiocomic, cat illustration, collage, diary comic, tiny comic Leave a comment

COVID-19 Isolation: Day 28

Me, holding a large stick.

Daughter: NO, you can't use THAT stick to build the trellis! That's Jimmy!!

I stare blankly at her.

Daughter: JIMMY THE STICK!

April 13, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: covid isolation, diary comic, family, isolation diary, sticks, webcomic Leave a comment

Child: I MADE CANDY GLUE!!!

Me: I don't want to know what that means.

April 8, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: covid diary, covid-19 comic, covid-19 isolation, diary comic, family, humor, webcomic Leave a comment

COVID-19 Isolation: Every Day So Far

Cat: You're home! It's dinner time!

me: No, Bubba. It's 8AM.

Cat: You're home! It's dinner time!

me: No, Bubba. It's 90:30 AM.

Cat: You're home! It's dinner time!

Me: No, Bubba. Not yet.

Cat: YOU'RE HOME! IT'S DINNER TIME!

Me: No, Bubba.

Cat: You're home! It's DINNER TIME!

Me: It's just 3:30, Bubs!

Cat: YOU'RE HOME

Me, running away

April 5, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: auto bio comic, covid-19 isolation, cut paper, diary comic, humor, illustration, webcomic Leave a comment

Why do you keep ruining my life?

Woman reading a book with a cup of tea

Woman reading, more dishes pile up

Woman reading more, more dishes

Woman reading. "The end. THE END??!"

Woman yelling, "I AM DEVASTATED!"

Authors, man.

February 22, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: a good book, am reading, autobio comic, diary comic, reader, tiny art, webcomic Leave a comment

A Craving for Something

Daughter: I have a craving for something, but I don't know what!

Me: What?? We just ate dinner and you said you were full!

Daughter, swanning away: ...but WHAT?

February 10, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: collage, cut paper, diary comic, illustration, sequential art, tiny comic, upcycled art, webcomic Leave a comment

Attention, Please

Ginger cat screams for attention

Cat scream louder: Your ATTENTION please!

Family looks at cat.

Cat flops over and purrs.

February 9, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: cat, diary comic, illustration Leave a comment

Petite

Nurse, measuring: Okay, looks like you're 5'2.5"...

Me: Can you write down 5'3"?

Nurse: ...

Nurse: ...

Nurse: No.

February 8, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiographical comic, collage, comic, cut paper, diary comic, illustration, petite, short girl problems, tiny art, upcycled art, webcomic Leave a comment

Livin’ the Dream

I was having trouble concentrating during the meeting

Because out the window, just over my boss's shoulder, there was a crow circling

And when it landed, I would see that it was carrying a whole sandwich.

Me, thinking: livin' the dream...

February 5, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: collage, comic, crow, diary comic, humor, illustration, lucky, paper art, sequential art, tiny comic, work Leave a comment

Afoot

Me, coming home from work: HONEY! I'm hooooooooooome!

Mike: Welcome home! Just a heads up, the neighbor girl is afoot.

Neighbor girl, yelling: A FOOT?? A FOOT?!! I'VE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!!!

SLAM!

Daughter: DADDY!!

Mike looks alarmed/surprised.

February 3, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: afoot, autobio comic, collage, comic, diary comic, humor, paper art Leave a comment

Dedicated to the One I Love

We found an old Lennon Sister album on vinyl for $2 at the secondhand store. We took it home and put it on.

And we danced

while our daughter struggled to suppress her gag reflex.

Daughter: UGH, you guys are SO GROSS.

Mike: You know you could go to any other room in the house, right?

Me: Any other room.

January 29, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: auto bio comic, collage, comic, dancing, diary comic, family, illustration, kids, sequential art Leave a comment

Make It Snow

She flushed ice cube after ice cube down the toilet yesterday.

because she read on the internet that that would make it snow. Kid: That should do it!

January 27, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: comic, cut paper, diary comic, ice cubes, illustration, sequential art, snow day 1 Comment

Stay Hydrated, Bookworms

Illustration of woman ryingover book.

Woman dry sobs

Woman chugs a sports drink

Woman resumes crying over book.

January 21, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: am reading, bookworm, comic, diary comic, humor, reader, shelflife, tiny art Leave a comment

Lucid Dreaming

Whoa! I'm floating!

Usually this only happens to me in dreams...

...but now it's happening to me in really life! FINALLY! (The woman's hair has turned green. She is holding a floating rabbit on a string. Her daughter has turned into a houseplant and is asking to go to the park.)

Image of search bar with the words: lucid dreaming too dumb??

January 20, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: collage, comic, diary comic, dreaming, humor, illustrations, lucid dreaming, paper art, tiny comic Leave a comment

Party like you’re 1999

Ugh. When this is all over, I'm going to treat myself to a nice, hot cup of peppermint tea.

Illustration of a lady dancing wildly with her cup of tea saying LIVE IT UP!

January 15, 2020March 9, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: as a treat, autobiocomic, comic, cut paper, diary comic, illustration, little a tea, paper artist Leave a comment

The Plunger

Child: MOMMY! Quick, I need the plunger!

Mom: What??

Child: Don't worry, I just need it to stabilize my fort!

Mom: WHAT??

January 14, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiographical comic, collage, cut paper, diary comic, family, humor, illustration, tiny comic, webcomic Leave a comment

Power Games

Illustration of a cat approaching a woman. Woman: Hi, Norman-cat!! Can I pet you??

The cat walks past her.

The cat lays down some distance away. The cat: Yes.

The woman reaches out her hand, too far away to pet the cat.

My cat and I have been engaged in a 36 minute handshake, each unwilling to be the first to break. The prolonged eye contact is making my eyes water, but I’m not crying.

I’m not crying.

January 9, 2020January 10, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiocomic, cat, collage, cut paper, diary comic, illustrator, tiny art, webcomic Leave a comment

Nobody Nose

Illustration of a little girl asking, "Whose nose do I have, yours or my daddy's?

Mother: Hmm, too early to tell. It's starting to look like mine--

Girl: oh, no!

Mother: --but it could still turn out like your father's?

Girl: oh, NO!

Father peeks into an empty frame, looking self-conscious.

January 7, 2020January 7, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiocomic, collage, diary comic, family, humor, illustration, parenting, webcomic, womenwhodraw Leave a comment

Winter Routine

My Winter Routine:

Step 1: Stand close to the gas heater until my clothes get so scorching hot they start to burn my flesh.

Step 2: Move one baby step away from the heater and stare at it for 30 seconds.

Step 3: Close the gap.

And repeat.

Illustration of a woman saying ouch!

January 6, 2020January 5, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiocomic, cold, collage, cut paper, diary comic, eco art, endless cycle, january comic, paper art, sequential art, tiny art, upcycled art, webcomic, winter, women illustrators Leave a comment

Good night

Every bedtime since she could talk, my daughter has said these three things:

"Dood night! I wuv you! I wish I would stop going to bed!"

It's been seven years of "Good night! I love you! I wish I would stop going to bed!"

It always made me laugh. But last night I realized she didn't say it. And that she hadn't said it in a while.

Good night. I love you. I would I would stop hurtling forward through time.

January 5, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiocomic, bedtime, comic, diary comic, growing pains, humor, parenting, webcomic Leave a comment

Mouse in the House

There is a mouse in the house.

I have tried everything to keep it out. But I keeps coming back in.

It makes me so angry, I just want to murder it.

Woman worker at hardware store: We actually have a really large selection of poisons in aisle 7. Me: omg, no! I don't want to MURDER murder it!

Hyperbole can be so dangerous!

(Please don’t give me mouse solutions. I already have a mouse solution. I’m planning on stuffing a cat in every crevice. Thank you.)

January 4, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: cut paper, diary comic, humor, illustration, mouse, sequential art, webcomic, women who draw Leave a comment

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