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Nicole Smeltzer

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The Middlest Sister

tiny comic

Technically

September 11, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer

The cat meows. Me: "Technically, you still have food in your bowl."

The cat responds, "Technically MEOW MEOW MEOW"

It’s Monarch Time

September 5, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer

We like to collect caterpillars in summer and watch them form a chrysalis.

It's so thrilling to watch them emerge

Especially to the cat. (Cat thinking "Flippity flappities!"

Agatha Christie Novels

August 27, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer

The ending to 85% of Agatha Christie novels:

Man, randomly: Say, why don't you and I get married?

Woman: Well, I suppose I have nothing better going on...

Man: WHAT A GAL!

Poirot: Ah, les femmes!

Re-reading Emily of New Moon

April 25, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer

Emily stands next to a cat. Ilse: You blithering centipede.

Emily bends to pet the cat. Ilse: You're a skunk and a bloodthirsty mink!

Emily walks away cuddling the cat. Ilse: YOU PROUD, STUCK-UP, CONCEITED BIPED!!

I’m keeping a catalogue of Ilse’s best insults.

Norman Disagrees

March 10, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer

Norman the cat scratches at an ottoman. Out of panel, a voice yells "NORMAN!"

Norman pauses. I say: No, Norman. No!

Norman thinks.

Norman returns to his scratching thinking: Norman says yes.

Don’t Put Maows in My Mouth

March 7, 2020March 9, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer

Illustration of a cat saying MAOW

Little girl to her mother: Awww! Norman says he's lonely and he wants us to adopt a kitten for him to play with!!

Cat, yelling: Stop misrepresenting me!

Cat, pouting behind his tail with a storm cloud over his head: That's NOT what I maowed.

A Craving for Something

February 10, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer

Daughter: I have a craving for something, but I don't know what!

Me: What?? We just ate dinner and you said you were full!

Daughter, swanning away: ...but WHAT?

Livin’ the Dream

February 5, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer

I was having trouble concentrating during the meeting

Because out the window, just over my boss's shoulder, there was a crow circling

And when it landed, I would see that it was carrying a whole sandwich.

Me, thinking: livin' the dream...

Groundhog Day

February 1, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer

Father and daughter walking together. Daughter: "Daddy, what is Groundhog Day?"

"It's the day when the groundhog comes out of his burrow. If he sees his shadow, then there will be 6 more weeks of winter."

Daughter: Oh, I see.

And what is a "week"?

Flashback to when she was 3 years old.

Lucid Dreaming

January 20, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer

Whoa! I'm floating!

Usually this only happens to me in dreams...

...but now it's happening to me in really life! FINALLY! (The woman's hair has turned green. She is holding a floating rabbit on a string. Her daughter has turned into a houseplant and is asking to go to the park.)

Image of search bar with the words: lucid dreaming too dumb??

The Plunger

January 14, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer

Child: MOMMY! Quick, I need the plunger!

Mom: What??

Child: Don't worry, I just need it to stabilize my fort!

Mom: WHAT??

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