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Nicole Smeltzer

Art & Illustration

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Technically

September 11, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer
The cat meows. Me: "Technically, you still have food in your bowl."
The cat responds, "Technically MEOW MEOW MEOW"

It’s Monarch Time

September 5, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer
We like to collect caterpillars in summer and watch them form a chrysalis.
It's so thrilling to watch them emerge
Especially to the cat. (Cat thinking "Flippity flappities!"

Agatha Christie Novels

August 27, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer
The ending to 85% of Agatha Christie novels: Man, randomly: Say, why don't you and I get married?
Woman: Well, I suppose I have nothing better going on...
Man: WHAT A GAL!
Poirot: Ah, les femmes!

Dentist Visit

August 12, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer
Me at the dentist: Illustration of me in the dentist chair with the dentist poking some sharp tool in my mouth.
My tongue at the dentist: Illustration of my tongue poking around the corner saying "Heyyyyy! What is UP!"

Eye Exam

July 15, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer

In addition to poor vision, I also apparently have no inner monologue.

Re-reading Emily of New Moon

April 25, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer
Emily stands next to a cat. Ilse: You blithering centipede.
Emily bends to pet the cat. Ilse: You're a skunk and a bloodthirsty mink!
Emily walks away cuddling the cat. Ilse: YOU PROUD, STUCK-UP, CONCEITED BIPED!!

I’m keeping a catalogue of Ilse’s best insults.

COVID-19 Isolation: Day 28

April 13, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer
Me, holding a large stick. Daughter: NO, you can't use THAT stick to build the trellis! That's Jimmy!!
I stare blankly at her.
Daughter: JIMMY THE STICK!

COVID-19 Isolation: Day 24

Image | April 8, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer
Child: I MADE CANDY GLUE!!! Me: I don't want to know what that means.

COVID-19 Isolation: Every Day So Far

April 5, 2020 | Nicole Smeltzer
Cat: You're home! It's dinner time! me: No, Bubba. It's 8AM.
Cat: You're home! It's dinner time! me: No, Bubba. It's 90:30 AM.
Cat: You're home! It's dinner time! Me: No, Bubba. Not yet.
Cat: YOU'RE HOME! IT'S DINNER TIME! Me: No, Bubba.
Cat: You're home! It's DINNER TIME! Me: It's just 3:30, Bubs!
Cat: YOU'RE HOME Me, running away

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