Nicole Smeltzer

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The Middlest Sister

Author: Nicole Smeltzer

Comic titled "Emptying the dishwasher." A tiny woman holds a giant fork and sings "Where have all the teaspoons gone" to the tune of "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone" by Paula Cole.

August 16, 2021 by Nicole Smeltzer Leave a comment

Que Sera Sera? Oh no!

How I want to be: Que sera sera. (Image shows a woman shrugging.)

How I am: Que serAAAAA!!!!! (Image shows a woman screaming and running.)

April 30, 2021 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: anxiety, autobiocomic, collage, diary comic, humor, illustration, upcycled art, web comic Leave a comment

That Song

Illustration of me saying "AAAAAAAUUUUURGH! Stop. Singing. That. Song!"

Illustration labeled "my brain", saying "no." with hearts.

April 21, 2021 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: humor, illustration, song stuck in my head, tiny diary comic Leave a comment

Insights from the Backseat

March 29, 2021 by Nicole Smeltzer Leave a comment

The Greatest Gift

Me to my daughter: I'm taking you to the store to spend your giftcard.

"You get to spend every penny. And on top of that, I'm giving you something else...

"...a promise not to say "Are you sure?""

Daughter jumps for joy.

March 28, 2021 by Nicole Smeltzer Leave a comment

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March 11, 2021March 11, 2021 by Nicole Smeltzer

Technically

The cat meows. Me: "Technically, you still have food in your bowl."

The cat responds, "Technically MEOW MEOW MEOW"

September 11, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiocomic, cat illustration, collage, diary comic, tiny comic Leave a comment

It’s Monarch Time

We like to collect caterpillars in summer and watch them form a chrysalis.

It's so thrilling to watch them emerge

Especially to the cat. (Cat thinking "Flippity flappities!"

September 5, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobio comic, butterflies, cat, chrysalis, collage, comic, flippity flappity, illustration, monarch, sequential art, tiny comic Leave a comment

Agatha Christie Novels

The ending to 85% of Agatha Christie novels:

Man, randomly: Say, why don't you and I get married?

Woman: Well, I suppose I have nothing better going on...

Man: WHAT A GAL!

Poirot: Ah, les femmes!

August 27, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: agatha christie, classic novels, collage, cut paper, fiction, poirot, proposals, tiny comic, webcomic Leave a comment

Dentist Visit

Me at the dentist: Illustration of me in the dentist chair with the dentist poking some sharp tool in my mouth.

My tongue at the dentist: Illustration of my tongue poking around the corner saying "Heyyyyy! What is UP!"

August 12, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: cut paper, dentist, eco art, illustration, tiny illustration, upcycled, webcomic Leave a comment

Eye Exam

In addition to poor vision, I also apparently have no inner monologue.

July 15, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer 1 Comment

Re-reading Emily of New Moon

Emily stands next to a cat. Ilse: You blithering centipede.

Emily bends to pet the cat. Ilse: You're a skunk and a bloodthirsty mink!

Emily walks away cuddling the cat. Ilse: YOU PROUD, STUCK-UP, CONCEITED BIPED!!

I’m keeping a catalogue of Ilse’s best insults.

April 25, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: classics, cut paper, emily of new moon, Emily Starr, Ilse Burnely, insults, LM Montgomery, Lucy Maud Montgomery, rereads, tiny comic, webcomic Leave a comment

COVID-19 Isolation: Day 28

Me, holding a large stick.

Daughter: NO, you can't use THAT stick to build the trellis! That's Jimmy!!

I stare blankly at her.

Daughter: JIMMY THE STICK!

April 13, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: covid isolation, diary comic, family, isolation diary, sticks, webcomic Leave a comment

Child: I MADE CANDY GLUE!!!

Me: I don't want to know what that means.

April 8, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: covid diary, covid-19 comic, covid-19 isolation, diary comic, family, humor, webcomic Leave a comment

COVID-19 Isolation: Every Day So Far

Cat: You're home! It's dinner time!

me: No, Bubba. It's 8AM.

Cat: You're home! It's dinner time!

me: No, Bubba. It's 90:30 AM.

Cat: You're home! It's dinner time!

Me: No, Bubba. Not yet.

Cat: YOU'RE HOME! IT'S DINNER TIME!

Me: No, Bubba.

Cat: You're home! It's DINNER TIME!

Me: It's just 3:30, Bubs!

Cat: YOU'RE HOME

Me, running away

April 5, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: auto bio comic, covid-19 isolation, cut paper, diary comic, humor, illustration, webcomic Leave a comment

Rewatching Pride & Prejudice

Mr Darcy looks at Elizabeth Bennet and thinks "I don't understand. Why doesn't she like me?"

Mr Darcy, "I stare at her ALL THE TIME."

We started rewatching the old BBC miniseries of Pride and Prejudice this week with the kid. So far, she loathes Mr. Darcy, but is highly amused by the awkwardness of Mr. Collins.

April 2, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: humor, jane Austen, mr darcy, pride and prejudice, rewatch, webcomic 1 Comment

COVID-19 Isolation By Day

Day 8: Gif illustration of my daughter running around with a bag over her head.

Day 13: Illustration of me asking my reluctant family "Who wants to cut my hair?!"

Day 15: Mike yelling out the window "HEY! Get outta here! That's not for you!"

A squirrel stands motionless at the bird feeder.

Mike: Aww. Now I feel bad.

Mike Yells out the window again: It's okay! You can have it!

The squirrel happily stuffs its cheeks with seeds.

March 31, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: covid-19 comic, cut paper, cute, family, funny, humor, illustration, isolation, webcomic Leave a comment

Working from Home, part 2

Illustration of me singing at my desk at home. (I'd Like to Visit the Moon, from Sesame Street)

Daughter: Mommy, do you sing at your desk at your real work?

Me: No, I don't...

Daughter: JUST ONE MORE BONUS OF WORKING FROM HOME!!

March 25, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: cut paper, family, humor, paper illustration, remote work, webcomic, wfh, working from home Leave a comment

Working from Home, part 1

Illustration of me on the phone with IT My chatty cat thinks I'm talking to HIM.

Me, on phone: I tried that, but it says INVALID USER.

Cat: Hello?

Me, on phone: Sorry, this is taking forever to download. I think my kid is watching Netflix.

Cat: I AM DOWN HERE!

Still on the phone, the cat yowling over everything: I SAID I'M DOWN HERE!

My chatty cat does not understand phone conversations.

March 24, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: cat comic, cut paper, humor, sequential art, webcomic, wfh, work from home comic Leave a comment

What a Week

Me, coming home from work every day this week: lying facedown on the floor

The cat peeks out from the corner

The cat approaches curiously

The cat sits on my head, purring

March 19, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: auto bio comic, covid-19, exhaustion, hard week, humor, illustration, webcomic, work Leave a comment

The Governor Says Social Distancing

Me to daughter: Sorry, honey. The governor says no more playdates or slumber parties.

Daughter: HE DIDN'T REALLY SAY THAT! DON'T LIE, MOMMY! Me, showing phone: He did! Look!

Headline on phone: GOVERNOR REALLY SAID THAT

Daughter, shouting to the heavens: WHO EVEN IS THIS GUY?

March 18, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiography comic, covid-19, family, humor, illustration, social distancing, webcomic Leave a comment

Norman Disagrees

Norman the cat scratches at an ottoman. Out of panel, a voice yells "NORMAN!"

Norman pauses. I say: No, Norman. No!

Norman thinks.

Norman returns to his scratching thinking: Norman says yes.

March 10, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: cats, collage illustration, cut paper, humor, illustration, tiny art, tiny comic, webcomic Leave a comment

Introducing Pepper!

We got a pet hamster! Her name is Pepper. She has pockets!

Everyone loves her! Illustration of family loving the hamster. The cat is small and blurry in the distance.

Close-up of cat.

Closer close-up of cat.

Extreme close-up of cat with MURDER in his eyes.

March 8, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: cat comic, collage, cut paper, hamster, humor, pets, webcomic 2 Comments

Don’t Put Maows in My Mouth

Illustration of a cat saying MAOW

Little girl to her mother: Awww! Norman says he's lonely and he wants us to adopt a kitten for him to play with!!

Cat, yelling: Stop misrepresenting me!

Cat, pouting behind his tail with a storm cloud over his head: That's NOT what I maowed.

March 7, 2020March 9, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: cut paper, illustrattion, misrepresentation, tiny comic, webcomic Leave a comment

Smol Frogs

I love the frogs in the pond behind my house.

I keep trying to draw them, but they never look cute.

Illustration of my trying to draw frogs and failing. "Why can't I do this?!"

Me to badly drawn frog: I'm so sorry! Please don't be mad.

Frog: We're not mad.

Two badly drawn frogs: "...just disappointed."

March 5, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: cut paper, drawing, frogs, humor, illustration, sequential art, trying and failing, webcomic Leave a comment

Star Trek: Mini Comics

Silly Trek comics cause it was too cold to leave the house today:

The Enterprise waits by a green planet. From the planet, a word bubble emerged :My Word!

Picard, Worf, Geordi, Troi and Riker all stand on the planet's surface. Picard: This planet is entirely populated by pre-warp, hyper-intelligent bunnies!

Illustration of a large number of bunnies.

The crew runs off saying SQUEEE! Picard: THE PRIME DIRECTIVE! COME BACK!

Geordie, Troi, and Riker cuddle bunnies. Picard slaps his forehead. Worf looks confused.

Riker and Deanna stand by a chair. Riker: what's that? Deanna: it's a chair.

Riker lifts his leg over the chair back. Riker: How do I...? Deanna, crossing her arms: Nope.

Riker puts the chair on his head. Deanna: Uhn uh.

Riker curls up sideways in the chair, his arm dangling down. Deanna: Keep trying.

Riker sits upside down in the chair, all alone. Riker: Deanna, I think I've got it! — Much later…

Riker, yelling: DEANNA

March 1, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: #webcomic #sequentialart #illustrations #humor, fan art, illustrations, mini comics, paper art, star trek, star trek: the next generation, webcomics Leave a comment

Magazine Quality

Nicki peeks around the corner at Mike playing the guitar. "Hi." "Hi!"

Nicki sees Mike drinking a cup of tea. "Hi!" "Hi." Hearts float above her head.

Nicki sees Mike brushing his teeth. Says "Hiii" in big pink caption while she stares adoringly.

Mike got a haircut.

February 29, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiographical comic, ecoart, haircut, illustration, love, paper play, sequential art, so well groomed, upcycled paper, webcomic Leave a comment

Why do you keep ruining my life?

Woman reading a book with a cup of tea

Woman reading, more dishes pile up

Woman reading more, more dishes

Woman reading. "The end. THE END??!"

Woman yelling, "I AM DEVASTATED!"

Authors, man.

February 22, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: a good book, am reading, autobio comic, diary comic, reader, tiny art, webcomic Leave a comment

Oh, beans

Illustration of a woman opening a can of beans. *pop!*

Illustration of woman opening a can of beans and peeling back the lid. *shhhhk!*

A puff of smoke appears beside her.

Ah, it's the cat. Cat: You summoned me?

The woman pats the cat's head. |Sorry, buddy. It's just beans."

The cat wails: BEANS!

February 16, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: cat comic, collage, cut paper, sequential art, tiny art, upcycled art, webcomic Leave a comment

A Craving for Something

Daughter: I have a craving for something, but I don't know what!

Me: What?? We just ate dinner and you said you were full!

Daughter, swanning away: ...but WHAT?

February 10, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: collage, cut paper, diary comic, illustration, sequential art, tiny comic, upcycled art, webcomic Leave a comment

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