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Nicole Smeltzer

Nicole Smeltzer

Art & Illustration

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Tag: upcycled art

Posted on February 16, 2020

Oh, beans

Illustration of a woman opening a can of beans. *pop!*
Illustration of woman opening a can of beans and peeling back the lid. *shhhhk!*
A puff of smoke appears beside her.
Ah, it's the cat. Cat: You summoned me?
The woman pats the cat's head. |Sorry, buddy. It's just beans."
The cat wails: BEANS!
Posted on February 10, 2020

A Craving for Something

Daughter: I have a craving for something, but I don't know what!
Me: What?? We just ate dinner and you said you were full!
Daughter, swanning away: ...but WHAT?
Posted on February 8, 2020

Petite

Nurse, measuring: Okay, looks like you're 5'2.5"...
Me: Can you write down 5'3"?
Nurse: ...
Nurse: ...
Nurse: No.
Posted on February 1, 2020

Groundhog Day

Father and daughter walking together. Daughter: "Daddy, what is Groundhog Day?"
"It's the day when the groundhog comes out of his burrow. If he sees his shadow, then there will be 6 more weeks of winter."
Daughter: Oh, I see. And what is a "week"?

Flashback to when she was 3 years old.

Posted on January 6, 2020January 5, 2020

Winter Routine

My Winter Routine:
Step 1: Stand close to the gas heater until my clothes get so scorching hot they start to burn my flesh.
Step 2: Move one baby step away from the heater and stare at it for 30 seconds.
Step 3: Close the gap.
And repeat. Illustration of a woman saying ouch!
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