Nicole Smeltzer

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Tag: collage

Que Sera Sera? Oh no!

How I want to be: Que sera sera. (Image shows a woman shrugging.)

How I am: Que serAAAAA!!!!! (Image shows a woman screaming and running.)

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April 30, 2021 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: anxiety, autobiocomic, collage, diary comic, humor, illustration, upcycled art, web comic Leave a comment

Technically

The cat meows. Me: "Technically, you still have food in your bowl."

The cat responds, "Technically MEOW MEOW MEOW"

September 11, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiocomic, cat illustration, collage, diary comic, tiny comic Leave a comment

It’s Monarch Time

We like to collect caterpillars in summer and watch them form a chrysalis.

It's so thrilling to watch them emerge

Especially to the cat. (Cat thinking "Flippity flappities!"

September 5, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobio comic, butterflies, cat, chrysalis, collage, comic, flippity flappity, illustration, monarch, sequential art, tiny comic Leave a comment

Agatha Christie Novels

The ending to 85% of Agatha Christie novels:

Man, randomly: Say, why don't you and I get married?

Woman: Well, I suppose I have nothing better going on...

Man: WHAT A GAL!

Poirot: Ah, les femmes!

August 27, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: agatha christie, classic novels, collage, cut paper, fiction, poirot, proposals, tiny comic, webcomic Leave a comment

Introducing Pepper!

We got a pet hamster! Her name is Pepper. She has pockets!

Everyone loves her! Illustration of family loving the hamster. The cat is small and blurry in the distance.

Close-up of cat.

Closer close-up of cat.

Extreme close-up of cat with MURDER in his eyes.

March 8, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: cat comic, collage, cut paper, hamster, humor, pets, webcomic 2 Comments

Oh, beans

Illustration of a woman opening a can of beans. *pop!*

Illustration of woman opening a can of beans and peeling back the lid. *shhhhk!*

A puff of smoke appears beside her.

Ah, it's the cat. Cat: You summoned me?

The woman pats the cat's head. |Sorry, buddy. It's just beans."

The cat wails: BEANS!

February 16, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: cat comic, collage, cut paper, sequential art, tiny art, upcycled art, webcomic Leave a comment

A Craving for Something

Daughter: I have a craving for something, but I don't know what!

Me: What?? We just ate dinner and you said you were full!

Daughter, swanning away: ...but WHAT?

February 10, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: collage, cut paper, diary comic, illustration, sequential art, tiny comic, upcycled art, webcomic Leave a comment

Petite

Nurse, measuring: Okay, looks like you're 5'2.5"...

Me: Can you write down 5'3"?

Nurse: ...

Nurse: ...

Nurse: No.

February 8, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiographical comic, collage, comic, cut paper, diary comic, illustration, petite, short girl problems, tiny art, upcycled art, webcomic Leave a comment

Livin’ the Dream

I was having trouble concentrating during the meeting

Because out the window, just over my boss's shoulder, there was a crow circling

And when it landed, I would see that it was carrying a whole sandwich.

Me, thinking: livin' the dream...

February 5, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: collage, comic, crow, diary comic, humor, illustration, lucky, paper art, sequential art, tiny comic, work Leave a comment

Afoot

Me, coming home from work: HONEY! I'm hooooooooooome!

Mike: Welcome home! Just a heads up, the neighbor girl is afoot.

Neighbor girl, yelling: A FOOT?? A FOOT?!! I'VE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!!!

SLAM!

Daughter: DADDY!!

Mike looks alarmed/surprised.

February 3, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: afoot, autobio comic, collage, comic, diary comic, humor, paper art Leave a comment

Groundhog Day

Father and daughter walking together. Daughter: "Daddy, what is Groundhog Day?"

"It's the day when the groundhog comes out of his burrow. If he sees his shadow, then there will be 6 more weeks of winter."

Daughter: Oh, I see.

And what is a "week"?

Flashback to when she was 3 years old.

February 1, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: collage, comic, cut paper, famiky, groundhog day, illustration, tiny comic, upcycled art Leave a comment

Dedicated to the One I Love

We found an old Lennon Sister album on vinyl for $2 at the secondhand store. We took it home and put it on.

And we danced

while our daughter struggled to suppress her gag reflex.

Daughter: UGH, you guys are SO GROSS.

Mike: You know you could go to any other room in the house, right?

Me: Any other room.

January 29, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: auto bio comic, collage, comic, dancing, diary comic, family, illustration, kids, sequential art Leave a comment

Lucid Dreaming

Whoa! I'm floating!

Usually this only happens to me in dreams...

...but now it's happening to me in really life! FINALLY! (The woman's hair has turned green. She is holding a floating rabbit on a string. Her daughter has turned into a houseplant and is asking to go to the park.)

Image of search bar with the words: lucid dreaming too dumb??

January 20, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: collage, comic, diary comic, dreaming, humor, illustrations, lucid dreaming, paper art, tiny comic Leave a comment

Lil’ Bob Dylan

Toddler singing in the backseat: These mushrooms are glorious and special. We should take them from outside. Maybe we should go to Boston and find a rainbow? Hey, maybe these mushrooms that we've never seen before. Hey, we can do it and this is the end?

Every toddler singing tunelessly to themselves in the backseat sounds just like Bob Dylan.

Or Bob Dylan sounds just like them.

January 16, 2020March 9, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: bob dylan, collage, comic, humor, illustration, paper art, parenting, sequential art, singing, toddlers Leave a comment

The Plunger

Child: MOMMY! Quick, I need the plunger!

Mom: What??

Child: Don't worry, I just need it to stabilize my fort!

Mom: WHAT??

January 14, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiographical comic, collage, cut paper, diary comic, family, humor, illustration, tiny comic, webcomic Leave a comment

Power Games

Illustration of a cat approaching a woman. Woman: Hi, Norman-cat!! Can I pet you??

The cat walks past her.

The cat lays down some distance away. The cat: Yes.

The woman reaches out her hand, too far away to pet the cat.

My cat and I have been engaged in a 36 minute handshake, each unwilling to be the first to break. The prolonged eye contact is making my eyes water, but I’m not crying.

I’m not crying.

January 9, 2020January 10, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiocomic, cat, collage, cut paper, diary comic, illustrator, tiny art, webcomic Leave a comment

Mother knows nothing

Girl: Why aren't you singing? You're just moving your lips.

Mother: I'm lip-syncing

Girl: Mommy, it's called lip-SINGING, not sinking!

Mother: S_Y_N_C, like when two things happen at the same time.

Girl: Sigh... that's called jinxing.

Mother: Ah, when will I learn

😦 I was just trying to lip-jinx Shania Twain in peace

January 8, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: collage, comic, family, humor, illustration, lipsynch, singing, webcomic 1 Comment

Nobody Nose

Illustration of a little girl asking, "Whose nose do I have, yours or my daddy's?

Mother: Hmm, too early to tell. It's starting to look like mine--

Girl: oh, no!

Mother: --but it could still turn out like your father's?

Girl: oh, NO!

Father peeks into an empty frame, looking self-conscious.

January 7, 2020January 7, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiocomic, collage, diary comic, family, humor, illustration, parenting, webcomic, womenwhodraw Leave a comment

Winter Routine

My Winter Routine:

Step 1: Stand close to the gas heater until my clothes get so scorching hot they start to burn my flesh.

Step 2: Move one baby step away from the heater and stare at it for 30 seconds.

Step 3: Close the gap.

And repeat.

Illustration of a woman saying ouch!

January 6, 2020January 5, 2020 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: autobiocomic, cold, collage, cut paper, diary comic, eco art, endless cycle, january comic, paper art, sequential art, tiny art, upcycled art, webcomic, winter, women illustrators Leave a comment

Fish Story

Mike bought a fish from the pet store and they said to bring it in if it dies and they will replace it. Well, it did die, but Mike didn't have time to go to the store, so he stuck it in the freezer in a baggie. (Illustration: Fish in a baggie labeled Do Not Eat)

That was months ago and now there are two more... (Illustration: Three baggies of labeled, dead fish)

Illustration of a cell phone open to a search bar with the words: fish serial killer how to know

December 19, 2019December 19, 2019 by Nicole Smeltzer Tags: collage, cut paper, humor, illustration, mixed media, sequential art, webcomic 2 Comments

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Recent Posts from The Middlest Sister: The Middlest Sister

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26. Passing Notes

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